Journaling offers many mental health benefits. Whether you prefer typing it out on the computer, the notes app on your phone, or pen and paper, journaling provides an outlet for emotional expression. This form of communication can be a great tool for processing complex emotions, reducing the intensity, and providing an overall sense of relief.
Additionally, journaling serves as a form of stress reduction by enabling individuals to unload worries, fears, and concerns onto paper. Externalizing thoughts can lead to a clearer and more organized mind, ultimately reducing stress and anxiety. Using journaling as a creative outlet can be stress-relieving for some. Self-expression allows individuals to explore their creativity through writing, drawing, or collage. This creative expression promotes relaxation, enjoyment, and a sense of fulfillment.
Journaling facilitates problem-solving by helping individuals identify and process challenges in their lives. By exploring potential solutions, they can gain clarity and perspective, making it easier to develop effective strategies for addressing issues. Organizing worries on paper can provide mental space for more positivity and optimism to see the stressors in a different light.
As a mental health clinician, I recommend journaling to encourage self-reflection. By examining thoughts, behaviors, and patterns over time, individuals can gain valuable insights into their emotions, values, and goals, fostering personal growth and development. Through self-reflection, journaling can promote self-compassion and self-acceptance by validating one’s own feelings and experiences.
Overall, journaling is a powerful tool for enhancing mental health and well-being, offering opportunities for emotional expression, stress reduction, self-reflection, problem-solving, gratitude, validation, and creative expression.
Reflection Questions: SELF-LOVE
What does self-love mean to you personally?
What are some common challenges to practicing self-love? How do you overcome these obstacles?
How has your relationship with yourself evolved over time?
How does self-love impact your relationship with others?
What are some misconceptions about self-love?
Can you share any tips for others who may be struggling with self-love?
Journaling is a versatile and powerful tool for nurturing mental health and well-being. Whether you prefer to jot down your thoughts with pen and paper or type them out on a digital device, the act of journaling offers numerous benefits, including emotional expression, stress reduction, self-reflection, and creative exploration. As we embark on this journey of self-discovery and healing through journaling, I invite you to join me in periodic reflections on self-love and personal growth. Through these reflection questions, we can deepen our understanding of ourselves, cultivate self-compassion, and foster a greater sense of well-being. Together, let’s embrace the transformative power of journaling to unlock our inner wisdom and resilience.
Frequently, therapists receive questions like, “What exactly happens during therapy sessions?” and “When is the right time to seek therapy?” These are excellent questions, and I’m here to break it down a little! In this article, I’ll be providing insights into what transpires in a session, guiding you on when therapy might be beneficial, and offering tips on finding the right therapist.
What Is Therapy?
Therapy or counseling is a process where licensed professionals such as a therapist or counselor provide a safe, confidential space for individuals to gain a greater understanding of their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, as well as their past experiences, interpersonal relationships, and sense of self. Collaboratively, the therapist and client will create goals that will be the focus of their journey together. Common therapeutic treatment goals might involve processing past experiences and relationships, overcoming current challenges, learning coping skills, and promoting a greater sense of worth and well-being. Within the goals, the therapeutic team will establish an anticipated timeline which will determine the approximate timeframe.
During each session, the therapist will use a specific intervention tailored to each client. A few therapeutic approaches might be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR), or Internal Family Systems (IFS). Each intervention focuses on different presenting issues with specific exercises and tools associated. The therapist will use their clinical experience to determine which intervention would be the best fit for the client.
When Might Therapy Be Beneficial For Someone?
Everyone struggles with obstacles at some point in their life. We all have experiences from our past that we think about periodically, or certain memories that stick with us despite efforts to minimize. Feelings of sadness and bouts of depression have most likely affected everyone at some point in their life.
However, when should someone reach out for professional help? One way to know for sure is by asking yourself if your mental health concerns are starting to negatively impact your ability to function occupationally, relationally, and emotionally. Are you noticing your work responsibilities are not being completed? Perhaps increased irritability and isolation are keeping you from friends? Is your sleep being significantly interrupted because of ruminating thoughts or excessive worry? These might be signs you are ready for a little extra support. Seeking therapy can help you regain control by exploring what’s at the root of the symptoms and then learning some ways to manage and overcome.
Some other signs one could benefit from therapy:
Ongoing feelings of distress, sadness, anxiety, or stress despite efforts to minimize. No matter how many walks you go on, self-care efforts, or hours spent with bucket-filling people, the distress remains.
Relational conflict is very common for therapeutic support. Conflict with loved ones, friends, coworkers can take up a significant amount of mental space causing worry, stress, and even trigger past trauma wounds.
Any form of grief: death of a loved one, anticipatory grief, collective grief, chronic grief. End of a relationship, major life change, any type of significant transition can cause emotional turmoil.
Low self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love can impact ability to function at one’s highest potential.
Struggling with personal development such as personal growth, self-identity, or exploring career advancement.
Unresolved trauma from the past or present.
How To Find The Right Therapist
Finding the right therapist can be difficult and time-consuming when you are unsure what to even look for! It is important to find a therapist you feel comfortable with in order to have a productive therapy experience. You are entering into a very psychologically and personally intimate relationship, so it is important you connect with a few different therapists and ask questions to feel comfortable moving forward. Reaching out for therapy is extremely brave and vulnerable so you might as well make it worth it!
Here are a few questions that may be helpful in making your selection:
Ask about their experience related to your symptoms or reason for coming to therapy.
Explore what their expertise is and what makes them credible in that area.
Consider what therapeutic interventions they would use based on your presenting issues.
Learn which insurance the therapist accepts and if they accept Out-Of-Network coverage, as well as out-of-pocket fees if your insurance does not match.
Most private practice clinicians will offer a free 15-minute phone consultation where you can ask these questions. Additional common questions I receive during this time are:
Do you give homework between sessions?
What does a typical session look like?
How long have you been a therapist?
If you are seeking therapy to process and explore unresolved trauma, it is highly recommended you ask trauma-related questions, such as:
Are you trauma-informed?
What is your approach in working with complex trauma?
Do you have experience working with clients who have experienced physical/sexual/emotional/etc childhood trauma? (related to your specific type of trauma)
Asking these questions can help you assess if the therapist’s style, approach, and general personality align with your needs and preferences. Ask yourself, “What am I looking to get out of therapy?” and then reflect if the therapist’s answers will help guide you there. Trust your instincts!
The reality is that therapy can look so different for everyone and it’s so important to identify what feels right for you. As we breakdown the therapeutic process, it becomes clear that therapy isn’t just about “fixing” our current symptoms. It’s about our overall well-being and addressing what’s at the root of the symptom. By recognizing the signs for professional help and understanding the importance of finding the right therapist, we empower ourselves to start our healing journey and become the best versions of ourselves. Remember, the decision to seek therapy is incredibly brave. Lean into what this journey has to offer, trust the process, and embrace the opportunities for growth that lie ahead.
Ever wonder how the relationship you had with your parents as a child impacts you today as an adult? Do you think the way they treated you, talked to you, addressed your basic needs affects how you view yourself? Do you find yourself attracted to the same emotionally unavailable romantic partners despite the many heartaches in the past?
The attachment style you share with your caregiver may be to blame.
What is Attachment Theory?
According to the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, the general definition of Attachment Theory is described as the following:
“A set of concepts that explain the emergence of an emotional bond between an infant and primary caregiver; And the way in which this bond affects the child’s behavioral and emotional development into adulthood.”
…But, what does this mean? The Attachment Theory, created by John Bowlby and collaborated with Mary Ainsworth, is a concept to explain the bond between a child and his/her main caregiver. The theory is categorized into 4 different types of attachment styles: Secure, Insecure Avoidant, Ambivalent/resistant, and Disorganized. The way we connect to our caregivers throughout infancy dictates our relationship patterns throughout adulthood and is based on our internal working models, or, also known as, core beliefs.
Children use their attachment figure as a secure base for exploring the world. When they feel safe, they will venture out and explore the physical world, as well as the social world. This sense of felt safety, fostered by their caregiver, is crucial when developing a sense of self and how they identify with the world. This attachment to our caregivers also impacts our social development which formulates how we view our needs, other people’s needs, and our perception of the world. How the relationship between child and caregiver is in early childhood dictates how our future relationships will be later on in life.
Harlow’s Monkeys
This theory proves that there is so much more to a child/caregiver bond than just providing food and nutrients. Children need to feel safety, security, and comfort, in addition to having their basic needs met. There was a controversial study done in the 1960’s involving monkeys which demonstrated how essential an emotional attachment with their caregiver was to have healthy development. Researchers created two surrogate monkey mothers, one made of wire and wood that provided food, while the other was made of soft cloth that solely provided comfort. After many weeks, the researchers found that baby monkeys spent all of their time clinging to the soft cloth mother who provided the snuggles. Even when the monkey was hungry, he would quickly feed from the wood mother then return to the comfort mother immediately after. Each time the baby monkey was subjected to an emotionally distressing object, the monkey would run to the mother that provided comfort, never to the mother who provided food. This concluded that there is more to developing an emotional bond than simply providing food and nutrients, as was once thought. Although the means to obtaining this information was viewed by some as unethical, the results changed the way psychiatrists and professionals understood attachment and social behavior.
Attachment Styles
Research shows that a baby between birth and up to 5-years-old can form an attachment with just about anyone. Predominately, the child forms the most impactful attachment with the primary caregiver, such as mom or dad, however, anyone who is around the child the most. Who is answering their cries? Fulfilling their needs? Providing basic safety, security, and comfort? Based on how this caregiver responds to the child’s needs, the attachment styles are created and there are 4 main ways these are categorized: Secure Attachment; Insecure Avoidant; Ambivalent/Resistant; and Disorganized.
SECURE ATTACHMENT
John Bowlby, creator of the Attachment Theory, describes a secure attachment figure to be: “available, responsive, and helpful.”
(Howe, 2011)
Child sees the caregiver as a safe base
feels safe to explore the world
Confident the caregiver can meet their needs
Can seek the caregiver in times of distress
Infants are easily soothed by the caregiver
Caregiver is sensitive to their signals & responds appropriately EVERY SINGLE TIME
EXAMPLE OF SECURE ATTACHMENT
Here is an example of what a secure attachment looks like. In this Youtube video, between the start of the clip until 1:08, you will observe Bambi’s secure attachment with his mother. Bambi’s loving mother responded appropriately to his needs when he fell. Because he received gentle encouragement and reassurance, he felt safe to try walking again and to explore with friends.
INSECURE AVOIDANT
Children investigate environment without any caregiver safe-base
Very independent of the attachment figure
Both emotionally and physically
Does not seek contact during distress
Caregiver typically is unresponsive
Insensitive and dismissive to child’s needs
Unavailable during emotional distress
Does not help with difficult tasks
Possibly experience avoidant attachment patterns during their own childhood with their caregiver
EXAMPLE OF INSECURE AVOIDANT
Here you will observe an example of what an Insecure Attachment style looks like. As you can see, the child is very uninterested in the caregiver or the stranger. The child does not show any distress when the parent leaves and does not need any comfort from anyone. The child feels comfortable and prefers independent play.
AMBIVALENT/RESISTANT
Children do not trust the caregiver
Caused by an inconsistent level of response from the caregiver
Caregiver responds appropriately to child’s needs only SOMETIMES
Wary of strangers
Separation anxiety when attachment figure leaves
However, can not be comforted or soothed by caregiver upon return
Children seem to be reluctant to get as close as they would like to the caregiver
EXAMPLE OF AMBIVALENT/RESISTANT
DISORGANIZED
Mary Ainsworth describes Disorganized Attachment as the following: “A child who exhibits behavioral disorganization or disorientation in the form of wandering, confused expressions, freezing, undirected movements, or contradictory (i.e. ‘unorganized’) patterns of interaction with a caregiver.”
(Howe, 2011)
Most children have history of trauma and/or abuse
Difficulty controlling their emotions and behaviors
Possibly aggressive or angry
Not trusting of adults & poor social skills
May show fear of caregiver
Person that should be providing comfort is actually causing fear
Attachment style can be caused by unresolved trauma and loss in the caregiver’s life
Intergenerational trauma
How Does Attachment Impact Adulthood?
Attachments that are established during our childhood impact us throughout our lifespan. This early bond dictates how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world around us. This concept is known as Internal Working Models or Core Beliefs.
Our Internal Working Models or Core Beliefs are developed based on our connection with our caregivers during the early formative years of our lives. These shape how we treat others, how we treat ourselves, and we expect to be treated. If the caregiver responds appropriately to all of the child’s needs consistently, then the child will feel secure and worthy of love. This will carry into adulthood with expectations of having similar relationships. On the other hand, if the caregiver responds inconsistently to the child’s needs, then the child may enter into adulthood questioning their worthiness of love and respect as they did not receive this regularly in childhood. They may unconsciously seek out similar intimate relationships and friendships for familiarity. They may also develop negative self-image and low self-esteem among others as a result.
Core beliefs are different for everyone. While some may struggle with responsibility and defectiveness, others may find themselves connecting more with needing to be in power or control. It’s important to work with a therapist to discover what internal working models or core beliefs are at the root of your unhealthy relationships, low self-esteem, or negative self-talk.
Attachment & Childhood Trauma
It’s no secret childhood trauma can impact adulthood. But how? Studies show that having an unhealthy attachment to a caregiver during childhood while also experiencing traumas can certainly dictate how you form relationships in adulthood. A person who grew up with a chaotic upbringing may gravitate towards a chaotic romantic relationship or a partner with a similar childhood as their own. Attachment styles aside from secure can cause maladaptive behaviors throughout the lifespan, such as avoidance and withdrawal. It also increases the risk of mental and physical illnesses throughout adulthood.
It’s also important to recognize that the traumas might not even be from your own experiences. Parents who experience their own childhood trauma can often pass their symptoms onto their children unknowingly. A parent may react to triggers from their own unresolved trauma. Their child may witness their parent’s behaviors and reactions to the trauma, as a result, causing the child to be fearful of the parents’ trigger as well as the parent. This is also known as intergenerational trauma.
Effective Interventions
Okay, great. I have an unhealthy attachment with my caregiver and I have negative core beliefs. NOW WHAT?!
Come to therapy! Through awareness, cognitive restructuring, trauma healing, and mindfulness, you can begin to shift your mindset to a more healthy way of thinking. You can manage your core beliefs by challenging them. You can improve your self-esteem and confidence to feel worthy of love and respect. These changes will reflect in how you treat others, treat yourself, and how you expect others to treat you.
There are three main interventions I use in my practice to address unhealthy attachment styles. They are: Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR); Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT); and Mindfulness meditation.
Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR)
Intervention used to heal from past traumas and other negative associations.
Check out What is EMDR? to learn more about this type of intervention.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Changes our perceptions including our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.
“What we think affects how we feel and act; what we do affects how we think and feel; and what we feel affects how we think and act.”
Mindfulness Meditation
Teaches how to relax your body in order to effectively manage anxiety and control triggers.
There is hope for you to interrupt this unhealthy cycle! Do not let your negative childhood experiences hold you back any longer. Through hardwork and therapy, you can change the way you view yourself and the world around you. Let’s start today.
Attachment Theory. (n.d.) In Random House Unabridged Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/attachment-theory
Benoit D. (2004). Infant-parent attachment: Definition, types, antecedents, measurement and outcome. Paediatrics & child health, 9(8), 541–545. doi:10.1093/pch/9.8.541
Bowlby, J. (1980). Loss: Sadness & depression. Attachment and loss (vol. 3); (International psycho-analytical library no.109). London: Hogarth Press.
Bretherton, I. (1992). The origins of attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Developmental Psychology, 28(5), 759–775. https://doi- org.proxy.lib.wayne.edu/10.1037/0012-1649.28.5.759
Howe T.R. (2011) Disorganized/Disoriented Attachment. In: Goldstein S., Naglieri J.A. (eds) Encyclopedia of Child Behavior and Development. Springer, Boston, MA
Michael Meehan, Bronwyn Massavelli & Nancy Pachana (2017) Using Attachment Theory and Social Support Theory to Examine and Measure Pets as Sources of Social Support and Attachment Figures,Anthrozoös, 30:2, 273-289, DOI: 10.1080/08927936.2017.1311050
Rincón-Cortés, M., & Sullivan, R. M. (2014). Early life trauma and attachment: Immediate and enduring effects on neurobehavioral and stress axis development. Frontiers in Endocrinology, 5, 33. doi:10.3389/fendo.2014.00033
It’s no surprise the crummy weather is taking a toll on your emotional well-being. Hardly any sunshine, cold temperatures, and a constant dreary overcast are the perfect ingredients for a depressive, melancholy mental state. Despite the groundhog’s recent prediction, us Michiganders know the truth: we have at least another 2.5 months left of winter weather. How do we make the most of these upcoming months? How can we start living our best lives, despite the dreadful weather? Here is a list 5 tips to fight the winter blues.
1. GO OUTSIDE
I know it’s definitely not 80 degrees and sunny outside. No, it’s probably about 20 degrees with a bitter cold wind, but it can still have a very powerful effect on our mental health! According to a research study done at the Harvard Medical School, time spent in a natural setting, such as in the woods or even walking in a downtown area, can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. This growing scientific field called Ecotherapy suggests spending 20 to 30 minutes, three days a week outside in a natural setting can provide the ultimate therapeutic benefits. Make the task extra enjoyable by taking your dog for a walk or asking a friend to join you. When Michigan’s cold season lasts nearly 6 months out of the year, we have to find ways to make the most of it.
Ecotherapy has many potential mental health benefits!
2. JOURNAL
Buy a notebook that inspires you, grab a smooth-writing pen, and get to work. Journaling has a ton of benefits for those who struggle with depression, especially during the winter. By writing things down, it allows us to feel more in control of our thoughts. It also makes us feel like our worries and concerns are more manageable once we see them on paper. If you’re not sure what to write about, then start a gratitude journal or an affirmation journal! Both are great tools to help focus more positively, as depression tends to focus on negative feelings.
Writing down your concerns and worries can make you feel empowered.
3. BE SOCIAL
We all know how tempting it can be to cozy up in front of the fireplace and binge watch any show on Netflix during the cold winter months. However, this is not helping fight off the winter blues! Force yourself to engage in social interaction. Plan a girls’ night out or invite friends over for a dinner party! We are less likely to cancel plans when we’ve made them ahead of time, and we are more likely to feel motivated enough to clean up our homes if we’re having guests over. The theory is that being around others will focus our attention away from self-awareness, which is useful when struggling with the winter blues. Also, being around friends can encourage laughing, which according to a study from the University of Montreal, can improve your mood and increase your brain’s serotonin level.
Laughing with friends can actually decrease depression.
4. EXERCISE
It certainly can be difficult finding the motivation to go to the gym or workout when it’s below zero degrees outside; but, what if I told you there was evidence that proved physical activity actually can improve your mood? Princeton University states exercise, especially aerobic exercise, significantly increases your brain’s serotonin levels and actually stays elevated for hours after your workout. Serotonin is a chemical mainly found in the brain that is sometimes referred to as the “happy chemical” because it contributes to your well-being and general happiness. In other words, give us all the serotonin possible during the wintertime!
Physical activity has the potential to boost your mood.
5. PET A DOG
This should be a given! It is becoming more accepted in the therapeutic community that the presence of a dog has so many positive effects on humans, hence my firm belief in Animal Assisted Therapy. Dog owners have known this since the beginning of time but I’m so happy scientists are finally able to put this experience into words! Studies show that dogs instantly reduce stress, anxiety and depression, and ease loneliness. Even just playing with a dog or petting his soft fur has shown to increase a person’s oxytocin and dopamine levels. These are also chemicals found in the brain that encourages “feel-good” hormones and contribute to a person’s overall sense of happiness. Don’t have a dog? No problem! Visit your local animal shelter and love on some of the pups at the shelters. You could also stop by the local pet store or a friend’s house and ask to take their fur-child for a walk around the block.
Petting a dog has been scientifically proven to benefit your health!
The above list is a collaboration of tips to help boost mental health, particularly during the winter months. It is important to recognize that mental health treatment is unique to every person and it’s essential to find what works for you. If you feel you are experiencing more than the “winter blues” then check out Psychology Today to find a therapist near you for mental health services. If you are in the Metro Detroit area, please reach out today for a free 15-minute phone consultation.
Beetz, Andrea et al. “Psychosocial and psychophysiological effects of human-animal interactions: the possible role of oxytocin.” Frontiers in psychology vol. 3 234. 9 Jul. 2012, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2012.00234
Grenley, Greer. “How Dogs Can Help With Depression.” NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness, 2 Feb. 2018, www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/February-2018/How-Dogs-Can-Help-with-Depression.
Harvard Health Publishing. “Sour Mood Getting You down? Get Back to Nature.” Harvard Health, Harvard Health Publishing, July 2018, www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/sour-mood-getting-you-down-get-back-to-nature.
Robinson, Kara Mayer. “How to Manage Depression by Writing in a Journal.” WebMD, WebMD, 4 Dec. 2017, www.webmd.com/depression/features/writing-your-way-out-of-depression#1.
TodayShow. “SAD? 5 Proven Ways to Deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder.” TODAY.com, 17 Jan. 2018, www.today.com/health/sad-5-proven-ways-deal-seasonal-affective-disorder-t104940.
